Reflections – Page 2 – Person of Purpose

Impressions of the Midwest – The People

It’s been four months since we moved to Columbus, Ohio, so it’s time to comment on my impressions of Midwestern living.

First, I was born and raised in California. I lived in New York for 5 years, got married and lived overseas for 13 years. The last 18 years were spent in Texas. So, having lived in the West, the East, and the South, it was time for me to move to the Midwest.

I really didn’t have any conceptions about what life would be like, but guess what? I have fallen in love with the people! Yes, that’s right, Midwesterners are so nice! What makes them so nice? One person offered the explanation that Midwesterners love sports, and sports brings people together. All I know is there’s a real family feeling around here, and I’m part of the family.

After we had been here a week, it dawned on me that one of my roommates was from Columbus. I did some checking around, and it was true, my fourth roommate from Brooklyn lived seven miles from me. Incredible! She attends the “sister” congregation in the same Kingdom Hall. I got her phone number and we reconnected right away. We see each other almost every week, and in fact, I just saw her today. My heart is so full of joy.

Roomies in Brooklyn circa 1986

Reconnecting with my roomie

Another thing about Midwesterners is that they are very social. Since our congregation was newly formed and many did not know each other, some members organized a Sisters Night Out. We played a game where we could take as many toilet paper squares as we wanted, and that the more we took, the more fun it would be. I could see where this was going, so I only took one square.

Now, the game was for each toilet square you took, you had to say something about yourself. There were around 40 sisters, so it seemed like a good way for all of us to learn some basics and keep within a decent timeframe. My turn came around, and while I wanted to channel Sally Fields “You like me!” acceptance speech, I instead stood up and said, “I moved here from Texas one month ago, and I am so happy to be here. Everyone has been so welcoming.”

Before we came here, we decided we were going to hit the social circuit hard. Little did we realize how easy it would be to make friends. In the past four months, in addition to our parties at our apartment lounge, I have been invited bowling, square dancing, card making, out to eat, and a bunch of other parties.

So, even though we have lived through a severe winter, I am feeling very cozy and warm.

Time Audit Results

As promised, I did a time audit for two weeks. I recorded my activities in 30-minute increments. The results are…mixed. I am happy to say that I spend a good amount of time keeping the finances and household in order, and on spiritual activities, but I have to admit that I spend a lot of time watching TV.

Here are some other things I discovered from doing this audit:

I can be obsessive. Funny thing: when I admitted it out loud, my husband said: “Ya think?” Hmm….
I need to include more exercise in my routine. Now my husband and I try to play ping pong every day when he comes home from work.

I’ve concluded that it’s not so much about how much you get done in a day, but whether what you accomplished was the most important.

For me, a clean sink is important.

Becoming a Social Butterfly

Our apartment complex has a lounge area that tenants can reserve after the leasing office closes. Since we had little furniture in our apartment, we decided the lounge would be an excellent place to host gatherings. We arrived on a Wednesday (Nov 21) and had our first gathering on Sunday (Nov 25).

Lounge artwork

Our first gathering was with a family with whom I met the wife when she was visiting in Dallas for work. The lounge kitchen has a refrigerator, microwave, and oven, but no stove top. I made the food in my own kitchen and brought it downstairs. I served spaghetti with meat sauce, chicken Florentine farfalle, and cherry pie for dessert.

Kitchen

We ate our dinner at the long table and slowly got to know one another. But because of our shared faith, what started off as complete strangers became family by the end of the evening. We were very touched and surprised when they gave us an Ohio State throw blanket as a welcome gift.

Our first gathering, our new family

Of course, you don’t really know someone until you have played ping pong with them.

Ping pong table

More features of the lounge include a couple of tables, a fireplace and sitting area.

Long table

Fireplace

Sitting area

To date, we have reserved the lounge six times. It works out to be one gathering every two weeks. That’s amazing!

Some of the highlights were when we asked each one to tell us their most embarrassing school moment. S.’s experience beat us all out. He threw rocks at the geese to get them off the playing field, but you know, geese don’t like that sort of thing, so they ganged up on him while the whole playground watched.

Our last gathering was a Chili Cook-Off. I had fun buying kitchen/cooking-like prizes. Basically, prizes for all! We voted on four chilis, and our friend E. won with what she called “Jamaican Me Crazy.” She was so surprised, but I wasn’t; she is an extraordinary cook.

We also played a game similar to “Speed Dating” but since we aren’t dating, we are just getting to know each other, I called it “Speed Friending.” We paired up and talked for five minutes each time. N., a junior in high school told me he saves 75% of his pay and spends 25%. His brother, Z., a senior, saves 50% of his pay and spends 50%. Outstanding!

This weekend we are having a Soup Cook-Off, so I am off to buy some prizes. Stay tuned!

Moving from Texas to Ohio

It’s been two months since we moved from Euless, Texas to Columbus, Ohio, and yes, the moving process was stressful. In fact, it was a wonder I didn’t get sick. Get ready for some academics, in 1967, two psychiatrists, Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe, researched the link between stress and illness. The Holmes and Rahe stress scale lists life events and assigns a number to the stress levels they cause. Once added up, the number predicts the risk of sickness.

The stresses I underwent included death of a close family member (63); change in different line of work (36); major mortgage (31); child leaving home (29); change in residence (20); change in church activities (18); and change in social activities (17) = 214.

The score of 150-299+ predicts the risk of illness is moderate.

I had to put my beloved dog, Lucy to sleep. My husband changed his work (hence, the move). We obtained a mortgage on a commercial property. Our only child remained in Texas to finish school. We downsized from a house to an apartment. We changed congregations. We determined to amp up our social activities.

The stress of packing was lessened by the help of our friends. My husband packed everything in a 16-foot Penske truck and a car carrier for our drive to Columbus.

We left on Tuesday morning, November 20^th at 5:30 am and drove straight through to Columbus, my husband insisting on driving the whole way. Actually, I was relieved he did that, as I didn’t realize how many 18-wheelers traveled across the country each day. Note to long-distance car travelers: wear sunscreen. Rats! Now I have a big freckle on my nose because I didn’t wear sunscreen.

I wonder what number the Holmes and Rahe scale would assign to that? Freckle on nose (86).

Hogging the road

When we opened the truck, I discovered it was only three-quarters full. I wished I had paid more attention to when the truck was being loaded, as I could have, and would have filled it completely. The moving guys took two hours to move our stuff to our fourth-floor apartment.

Apartment complex

Truck and car carrier

The truck was filled three-quarters full

Now, the fun part began with the unpacking. I was pleased to see that the closets were spacious. My husband decided he wanted the closet on the guest room/office side and the bathroom. I was to get the master bedroom closet and bathroom, which had the bathtub. However, I regret I left a lot behind. And after unpacking, I regret taking some things. I mean, I brought 45 rags! Whaat!?!

Unpacking

We bought a TV at Best Buy. The Black Friday sales were in effect, so the next day we went furniture shopping. I don’t regret leaving my sofa set (circa 2000) behind and starting afresh. We chose two office chairs, a coffee table, a loveseat and two side chairs from West Elm. We brought home the office chairs and one side chair immediately, but the rest will come in 8-10 weeks. Ugh.

I mentioned earlier that we planned to increase our social activities. Our apartment complex has a lounge we can reserve, and we have been taking good advantage of the amenity. My next post will talk about how I am transforming into a social butterfly.

Create More Time in Your Life: Do a Time Audit

Do you ever feel your life is so busy you don’t have enough time to do everything you need to? Or, are there some things you want to spend more time on, such as exercising, being with family, or improving a skill, but you don’t know how to fit it in your schedule? At the end of the day, do you have a nagging feeling, as if you didn’t do enough?

Enter a time audit! What is thaaat? A time audit is a record of your activities for a period of time to see exactly what you are spending your time doing. You record everything so at the end you can analyze what you spent your time on.

There are three compelling reasons why we need one. First, we need data. Hard data. Your personal data. It doesn’t make sense to have someone else tell us where we might be wasting time because we won’t accept it.

Second, we are unreliable estimators of our time. Our narrative or opinion may be off. We may think that we spend 80 hours a week on work, but the reality says we only spend 50. Or we may feel guilty that we didn’t do enough, and beat ourselves up, when in actuality, we accomplished a lot.

Third, as you do the audit, you improve as you go. Remember the saying, “Measurement itself creates improvement.”

Time experts recommend that you keep a time audit for a week or two. There are scads of time audit templates you can download from the Internet. They also recommend that you record activities in 15-, 30- or 60-minute intervals.

Now, raising my hand, I admit I am guilty of wasting time. So, drumroll please, I plan to keep a time audit for two weeks, starting today! I will record my activities in 30-minutes increments. My goal is to spend more time on my blog and less time watching TV.

What do you want more time to do? By doing a time audit, you will be able to prioritize and find more satisfaction and purpose in your life. So how about it? Will you join me in doing a time audit?

A Memorial to Lucy the Golden Retriever

11/25/2004 to 10/25/2018

Lucy, my Golden Retriever came into my life on June 15, 2010. Initially, a friend, who lived in a third-story apartment and who worked full-time, thought Lucy would be better off with us. My son wanted a dog, and we had a house and a backyard for her to run around in.

I was surprised at how big she was. Lucy was confused. Lucy, my son and I sat in the living room, looking at each other. The energy level was so low, I almost fell asleep.

It wasn’t until my son went to bed that Lucy came alive. She adorably romped around as if to say, “Let’s play!” Needless to say, she became my dog.

She became very attached, was constantly underfoot, and followed me around so much that it was unnerving. It took some adjusting for all of us. Eventually, I started calling her “Little Lucy” a misnomer because she was so big. Or I’d call her “Lucy Lou” because, hey, she’s from Texas!

She was afraid of storms. At times, I would find her hiding in my closet, heavily drooling and shaking.

She was a Retriever who didn’t retrieve.

She was a beauty who made everyone smile when they saw her.

She patiently let me cut her hair. At the beginning, I wasn’t any good, and once I cut it so badly, I affectionately called her “Pinocchio” because she looked like she was made from crudely carved wood. That’s the thing about dogs, they still love you no matter what you do to their hair.

Eventually, after watching many YouTube videos and reading articles on grooming, I got the hang of it. I especially enjoyed grooming her paws, which technique the breed standard calls “tight and cat-like.” They really do look like a cat’s paw! So adorable!

She would howl whenever she heard sirens. She also howled/sang whenever she heard me sing the song He Will Call. I’d like to think it was because it was her favorite, not because my singing was bad.

Last year we made the decision to move to Columbus, Ohio, and I wanted to take her, but we felt the move would be too traumatic for her. I reached out to the Golden Retriever Rescue of North Texas to rehome her. Unfortunately, just a day before the rescue organization emailed me that they had found a home for Lucy, I made the painful decision to put Lucy to sleep. She was fourteen years old.

I called Banfield and told them it was time, and they said I could bring her in that very day. No way! I agreed for the next day, while I cried the entire rest of the day.

The next afternoon, my friend Renee took a half day off from work to pick me and Lucy up. I had printed my “100 Self-Care Activities for Body, Mind, and Spirit” and said, “We will need to use this after the procedure is done.”

Now, some people would prefer to have the procedure done in their presence, and others not. I decided I wanted to be there, but Renee, who previously had to put down a number of her pets opted out. I said my goodbyes and told Lucy how much I loved her and that she was a wonderful dog, a faithful companion, and a loyal friend.

I can’t say if or when I will get another dog, but I do know I will never have another dog like my beloved Lucy.

Coffee with a Cop

Just so you don’t get confused, I’m still in Columbus, but I wanted to share an experience I had a few months back in Euless, TX with Coffee with a Cop.

While running errands, I noticed there was a large crowd at the Starbucks on Airport Freeway, Euless, TX. There were police cars, smiling people and smiling cops holding coffee cups. I knew what it was. It was a Coffee with a Cop event!

I thought, “I’ve never been to one of these. Lemme go.”

I bought my potting soil, then drove over to Starbucks, only to find out that the event was closing in six minutes. Oops, there was no time to buy coffee, but I met one officer, Sergeant Rocky Fimbres, and he took the time to speak with me.

“I notice the sign says I can ask you a question.”

“Sure, what is your question?”

“Eddie Cantor once said, ‘When I see the Ten Most Wanted Lists…I always have this thought: If we’d made them feel wanted earlier, they wouldn’t be wanted now.’ My question is: what programs does the Euless Police Department have to help young people grow up to be upstanding citizens?”

Sergeant Fimbres outlined a number of programs that help young people see the police as allies. I have compiled this list:

Euless Police Summer Camp. Every year the police department holds two free week-long camps for children ages 10 to 12. I tried to register my son for this years ago, but the spaces were always full.

Visits at schools. Euless Police enjoy eating lunch or reading with elementary students. Junior high and high schoolers also get their time with the Euless police.

National Night Out. This is a neighborhood event to promote police/community partnerships and learn about violence and drug prevention while building neighborhood unity. Held in all 50 States, U.S. territories, and military bases worldwide the first Tuesday in August (Texas holds it the first Tuesday in October), the Police and Fire Departments invite all neighborhoods in Euless to meet in their neighborhood parks and join with the police and nation to “take a bite out of crime.” Neighborhood block parties, festivals, parades, cookouts and youth events are scheduled.

Public Safety Open Houses. The Euless Police and Fire Departments host open houses. Children can take a tour, climb in and out of police cars and fire trucks and ask questions about the facilities.

Years ago, officers used to hand out baseball size cards with their picture on them. It was cool! Now, however, the police department does not have any souvenirs to give to the public.

All young people need to feel loved and cared for. It isn’t just up to the police. All of us should show young people that we care and that there is a hope for the future.

Breaking My Hiatus from Blogging

Hey, sorry it’s been two months since I last posted. My last post asked some hard questions, and I will answer them here:

How will I downsize? I downsized from a 3-bedroom/2-bath house of 1,600 s.f. to a 2-bedroom/2-bath apartment of 897 s.f. As you may know, with my problem with papers, I had a hard time getting through them. My husband said, “Just take what you will need and leave the rest.” That’s not an easy thing to do. The “hoarder” in me said I needed to touch every piece of paper. I wanted to just pack them all up to deal them later, but nooo, he wouldn’t let me do it.

What should I do with my things? A couple of friends want to make money so they can attend an international convention next year, so what better way to help them than to donate my things to their garage sale?

How will my son stay behind to finish the fall and spring semesters? My son has to finish his schooling in Fort Worth, so he stayed behind. It’s a long story, but he is staying in two places, one is a trailer near the school, and the other is an RV that he stays in on the weekends.

What about Lucy, my golden retriever? For weeks I tried to get her rehomed through the Golden Retriever Rescue of North Texas. But being 14 years old, and arthritic, it came down to that she was in pain, and her quality of life wasn’t good anymore. I made the painful decision to have her put to sleep. An upcoming post will celebrate my life with Lucy.

Can I handle the cold weather of Ohio? Let’s be real: it’s cold in Ohio. I haven’t worn stockings since 1987. But I got a set of thermal underwear and a pair of rubber boots, so I’m good to go.

So there you have all the answers you were dying to know for the last two months!

A Bible Plan to Fill My Heart with Peace and Tranquility

There’s a song that says, “Life in this world can be hard. Life in this world can bring tears and pain. Still ev’ry day I will say, ‘My life is not in vain.'”

Let’s face it, all of us have one trial or another. With an upcoming move, I am dealing with a number of emotionally charged situations. How will I downsize? What should I do with my things? How will my son stay behind to finish the fall and spring semesters? What about Lucy, my golden retriever? Can I handle the cold weather of Ohio?

I’m not worried about moving to a new congregation. Spiritual friends are friends anywhere in the world, and I have a plan to jump right in.

The Daily Text of Monday, October 22 was Ps. 55:22 which says, “Throw your burden on Jehovah and he will sustain you.” It encouraged me to rid my heart of disturbing emotions and fill it with peace and tranquility. So, I have decided that I will start a Bible program to do that.

Monday: Bible reading project. Each week, I will type a Bible reading into a document, verse by verse, and include notes.
Tuesday: Study for the midweek meeting and prepare comments. Attend my Christian meeting.
Wednesday: Share in the ministry. Family study with my husband.
Thursday: JW Broadcast project. JW Broadcast is an Internet TV channel which features spiritually upbuilding content. A monthly section called From Our Studio started in October 2014. I plan to watch one each week and take notes. There have been 49 of these, so this project will take me a year.
Friday: Show interest in others by writing letters and visiting in person.
Saturday: Share in the ministry with my family. Study for the meeting and prepare comments.
Sunday: Attend my Christian meeting. Show hospitality and have upbuilding association.
Every day: Heartfelt prayer.

I believe this plan will be of great benefit and help me be a more joyful Christian.

Photo credit: Julio Jimenez, Instagram @julesphotocamera

Fall 2018 Moving Challenge

This post started off as “Fall 2018 Cleaning Challenge Week 4” to talk about decluttering my office, but I have some big news:

WE ARE MOVING TO COLUMBUS, OHIO!!!

Now, decluttering the office has changed to downsizing our possessions by 1,000 square feet. We have two weeks to pack and then make the 16-hour drive in a car and U-Haul to move into a two-bedroom, two-bath apartment that is within walking distance of work.

It’s been a difficult process going through our stuff. I’m a glass collector, so I have glass vases and paperweights from the 80’s. I have photo albums and pictures, craft paper, and stickers.

I also have stationery and letters. I have practically every letter, wedding invitation, birth announcement, and graduation card I have ever received, so my hanging folder box weighs 10.8 pounds and I cannot fit one more card into it. When I hoisted it up to show my husband, he did his best imitation of Sheriff Brody from Jaws and said, “You’re gonna need a bigger box.”

My husband has computer books and Bible notes he took where he wrote in microscopic-size lettering. I offered to scan them, but he said no.

My son has put many possessions on Letgo. He has sold a number of items such as a motorcycle jacket and LEGO. He is willing to let go of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid set and LEGO books.

He wanted to sell our Yeti cooler, but my husband said, “No way! Mom and I are going to use that when we go on all of our camping excursions.”

Crickets chirping…that would be a hard NO.

We’ve gotten rid of childhood books, magazines, a coffee table and two side tables. But no one seems to want DVD’s anymore.

I’ve discovered I have an obscene number of notebooks, papers, and pens. It’s not completely my fault. Every time my husband went to a vendor event, he came home with them. Then there’s all the notebooks the teachers required we get for our kid for the school year. You have to buy one for each subject. After a number of years, I stomped my foot and said, “NO, I will not buy any more of these notebooks!” Or #2 wood pencils. All the kids started using mechanical pencils, so what was the point of buying them?

Notebooks and papers and pens, oh my!

The house is in a mess. Our Akita, Kumo managed to sneak into my bedroom and gnaw on some of my jewelry boxes. I think this week he has been in my room more times than in the last 9 months. Fortunately, he didn’t swallow any jewelry. Imagine me for the next two weeks, walking behind him every time he did his business, to find my emerald ring….

I still count the number of things I discard. Why? It increases the likelihood of succeeding.

“Measurement itself creates improvement.”

“Track a specific outcome makes it more likely to improve.”

Here’s my results:

Total things gotten rid of: 670
10 lbs. of papers
Packed 5 boxes

The downsizing has been hard, both physically and emotionally, but in the end, I believe it will be beneficial.