Nanci Singleton – Page 4 – Person of Purpose

2018 Fall Cleaning Challenge Week 1 Review – Getting Rid of 1,000 Things

I started this challenge on Saturday, September 1^st and disposed of 271 things.

My work for the week resulted in getting rid of a total of 569 things. Yay, yippee, only 431 items to go!

Actually, I’m a little bummed because I thought that with the momentum of the first day I was going to accomplish this goal in one week. But I have a lot of papers and it takes time to sort through them. I have 4 file drawers that are heavy, so I won’t stop until I can easily open and close them. Also, I have no picture to post because the office appearance hasn’t changed for the better. Sometimes when you are in the middle of a fight with clutter it gets uglier before it gets better.

I am slowly changing my procedures. The expression “Only Handle It Once” is the acronym OHIO. Who knew? Well, that is what I am transforming myself into. At least I hope I am.

Being the “Queen of Using Scratch Paper” or the acronym QUSP, okay, I made that up, I kept about a ream size amount of papers to be used again.

I have learned a number of things by going through my papers:

Our dogs have RABIES VACCINATION papers. I kept them in paper form just in case I need to produce these for animal control or anyone who asks for them.
Our 14-year old Golden Retriever, Lucy has her rabies shot due this December. Our city requires that adult dogs get a rabies shot every 3 years. Our puppy, Kumo, an Akita, has to get another shot in March, as his shot is only good for 1 year.
My husband’s last tetanus shot was in April 2007. Time for a shot!

This challenge is not just about getting rid of the 1,000 things:

It’s about changing patterns of behavior. OHIO!
It’s about creating a peaceful environment. When I have too many things around me I become paralyzed.
It’s about keeping the most important things and knowing where they are.

Let’s hear from you. Can you get rid of some things?

Fall 2018 Cleaning Challenge

It’s September 1, 2018, and I invite you to join me in a Fall 2018 Cleaning Challenge. There are many cleaning checklists on the Internet, so feel free to use any of them.

Some who know me think that I am a fairly organized person. The reality is that I just give the appearance of being organized. I have a serious clutter problem, mostly paper clutter.

I plan to get all my papers in order. I will scan and get rid of as many papers as possible. I plan to get rid of 1,000 things. That’s right! You read it: 1,000 things!

Today, I got rid of a total of 271 things. There was nothing very interesting or shocking about what I disposed of, but maybe later I will find something.

253 papers
1 scarf from a PetSmart puppy play date
1 bag of tie stays
15 old bottles of vitamins and herbs (some from 2014, yikes!)
1 school calendar binder from 2009.

So, you see, it will be very easy for me to get rid of 1,000 things.

My office is in my closet. I have an Elfa closet, but it doesn’t look like one of those beautiful catalogs from The Container Store. My goal is to get everything organized so that it looks like one of those catalogs.

Here is a photo of my cluttered office. I will post again when it is cleared up.

My cluttered office

In the photo, notice the guts hanging out of the heavy-duty shredder. It’s broken. I’m shattered!

Let’s hear from you. Will you join me in the Fall 2018 Cleaning Challenge? Let me know.

Struggles with Lawn Care Part 3

It’s been two months since I got the front lawn fertilized. While July was wretchedly hot, historically, the month of August is the driest month in North Texas. Despite some surprising rain downpours, slightly cooler temperatures, and even some mushrooms growing in the lawn, the rain was not a drought-buster.

For those academics out there, there are drought intensities from none, abnormally dry, moderate drought, severe drought, extreme drought, and exceptional drought. North Texas is suffering from severe drought conditions.

I wasn’t able to get the two pallets of sod installed due to lack of funds, so I had to be content to watch the runners spread. All in all, I was satisfied with the progress.

I’m still daydreaming about planting something other than grass in the front yard. There’s a six foot swath of soil near the walkway to the front door because the house causes a shadow and grass doesn’t seem to grow well there. I’m thinking of planting some annuals, like pansies.

True story: one time I asked the nursery gal where I could find the asylum instead of the alyssum. We both had a big laugh over that.

August 19^th front lawn

Hopefully, in September I will show you more filled in grass and some colorful flowers.

100 Self-Care Activities for Body, Mind, and Spirit

We live in a fast-paced world with too much to do. However, if we aren’t careful, we could become stressed and lose our ability to handle our responsibilities.

I should know. Last year, I home-schooled my son for his last year of high school, driving him to and from community college for dual-credit, checking his school work, then taking him to work and picking him up late at night.

By the end of the 16-week semester, I was a wreck. I lost my focus and satisfaction in life. I was burned-out. Ask me a question, and all you’d get back was a blank stare. You get the picture. It wasn’t pretty.

So, what is “self-care” anyway? Get ready for a lesson in academics, or just skip this paragraph. The term was first coined and developed by Dorothea Orem, a nurse theorist between 1959 to 2001. Orem’s Nursing Theory defines self-care as “the practice of activities that individuals initiate and perform on their own behalf in maintaining life, health, and well-being.”

The thought is that any person can practice self-care to ease stress, illness, depression, or other negative emotions. These areas of activities involve the body, mind, and spirit.

I created this list of self-care activities to help me reset and restore my life. Now, as you read the list you may ask yourself, “Okay, how does drinking water or eating breakfast help you?” Well, you must put gas in the car before you start on a trip, right?

Another question: how does making your bed help you? I guess the short answer would be it prevents me from jumping back into it. But seriously, it helps you start your day. For an inspiring read check this.

Please keep in mind; this is my list. Feel free to ignore the activities that don’t excite you and focus on the ones that make a difference for you.

Body: These 28 activities help you stay healthy and provide energy.

Drink water
Eat a healthy breakfast
Eat lunch
Eat something organic
Have a favorite alcoholic drink
Eat a favorite food
Eat a light dinner before 7:00 pm
Stretch
Go to the gym
Take a walk
Play a fast-paced sport like ping pong
Maintain good posture
Establish a 2-minute walking routine every hour
Spend time in the sun (10 min.)
Breathe deeply for 5 minutes
Get a massage
Get a manicure and pedicure
Get a facial
Take a hot shower or bath
Have a home spa day
Get a haircut
Get all dressed up
Pet, play or walk the dog
Hug someone (12-15 seconds)
Use a diffuser with essential oils or use them on yourself
Take a nap (set a timer for 20 minutes)
Do your bedtime routine
Go to bed early

Eat a favorite food (smoked brisket mac and cheese with garlic bread)

Pet, play or walk the dog. Won’t you play with me?

I think it’s hilarious that I should list “eat something organic” and follow it with “have a favorite alcoholic drink” which is a gin and tonic that I indulge in about twice a year. Hee, hee.

Mind: These 22 activities help you to challenge your brain, reboot your brain, or give your mind a break.

Make your bed
Make a to-do list
Learn something new
Learn a new skill or take a class
Plan to be spontaneous (HA!)
Write a blog post
Be crafty
Do a jigsaw puzzle
Go to the library
Read a book or magazine
Play a game on the computer
Throw away an old piece of clothing
Declutter, get rid of 10 things
Organize a space
Clean an area of the house or yard
Plan a bucket list and work on something on it
Draw or color
Plan a vacation
Journal
Plan “me” time
Create a personal mission statement or read your mission statement
Pay down a debt

A personal mission statement can help you keep aligned with the values you feel are most important. For a guide to writing your own mission statement, read here.

Spirit: These 32 activities help you deal with stressful emotions.

Make a list of your accomplishments
Make a list of your personal qualities
Repeat positive affirmations
Listen to your “pump it up” songs
Go shopping
Buy some flowers
Buy a gift for yourself
Buy a new piece of clothing
Get a coffee
Go out to eat
Watch TV or YouTube videos
Go to the movies and eat popcorn
Write in a grateful journal
Go to an art museum or antiques shop
Be silly, laugh, and tell jokes
Do some gardening
Go to the zoo
Feed the birds
Go to the park
Go to a nursery
Take a day trip or a road trip
Burn a candle
Listen to music
Go people watching
Look at the clouds
Watch the sun rise or set
Look at the stars
Look at photo albums
Sing
Hire someone to do a chore
Create a self-care kit
Use your self-care kit

Buy some flowers

A self-care kit may be a box, purse or container that has calming objects that you can use whenever you feel the need to regroup. Some items in a self-care kit could include a journal and pen, stuffed animal, essential oils, lotions, pictures of loved ones, tea, a favorite snack, and tissues.

Spirit: These 18 include maintaining relationships and caring for others.

Practice kindness
Be humble
Forgive and forget a wrong done to you
Have deep conversations with family members
Study and meditate on spiritual topics
Donate for a good cause
Volunteer at a shelter, hospital or nursing home
Visit an animal shelter
Offer to be of assistance to someone
Cook or bake something and share it
Go to out to eat with someone
Go on a date with your significant other
Buy some stationery or stamps and write letters
Buy a gift for someone
Throw a party or host a luncheon
Visit with someone in person
Listen with empathy and be encouraging
Interact on social media

You will notice that many of these activities are things you do each day. To regain your focus, practice these self-care activities of the body, mind, and spirit. Which ones will you try today?

10 Reasons Why I Love Lists

As mentioned in my opening post, Hey World, Here I Am! I’m a list maker, so first, let’s talk about why I love lists. Simply put, I love making lists because it’s FUN!

You’ll also notice that some of my lists are numbered 100 Ways to… or some other nicely rounded number. I’ll tell you why.

And now, in no particular order, here’s my list:

Lists Aid in Getting Things Done

I make a to-do list every day. It lets me see what is most important to do. It’s a reminder that I have a dental appointment at 10:30 am, and if I forget it they’ll charge me a no-show fee. Ouch! Lists help me to be reliable and punctual.

Lists Hold Me Accountable

Let’s face it; not everyone has the time to be my accountability buddy so I have to be my own.

Lists are a Record of Accomplishment

In 2016, I had a project to write letters. The plan was to write every day. I ended up writing 147 letters. Not bad! I’m doing it again this year. So far, up to August 2018, I have written 80 letters.

Lists Inventory My Stuff

Lists help me discover whether I have too many or too little of something. I have too many things.

Lists Increase Self-Knowledge

Lists make me aware of myself. What things make me happy? When I feel down, I just look at my list and focus on a number of those things. The moon, rocks, acorns. Sigh. Notice a pattern?

Lists are a Map Towards Personal Development

Personal development lists help me define my goals, prioritize, develop new skills, map out the steps and deadlines and then act on those goals. Let’s say I want to have more fun in life. How am I gonna do it?

Lists Rank and Prioritize

Lists that rank and prioritize help me choose a course of action. Yelp’s Best Peruvian Restaurants in Dallas, tells me the restaurant I tried, El Tesoro del Inca was in the top 10. Read about it here. The 10 Happiest Countries in the World in 2018 guides me to consider a move to Finland (ranked number 1). No thanks. Not a cold weather gal. I guess I could make a list of warm weather places I’m willing to move to. 😀

Lists are Meaningful

A numbered list may be symbolic. For example, I made a playlist of 25 songs for our 25^th wedding anniversary. When I presented it to my husband, he was visibly moved, saying it was the most romantic gift he had ever received.

Lists Help Me Brainstorm

Lists of 100 help me thoroughly analyze a subject. The first 30 on the list will be easy, a no-brainer. The next 40 will be harder and may show patterns. The last 30 will make me dig deep, going from the conscious to the sub-conscious to come up with unusual or unique solutions.

Lists Help Me Think Things Through

Why are some lists are bundled in nice, even numbers like 10 or 100? It’s because 10 is a complete number. So is 100. It instills confidence that I have thought it through. If I create a list of 7 Reasons Why I Love… I might think, “Is that it, Nanci? Couldn’t you come up with 3 more?” Or if I add 1 more, like 101 Ways to … that means I have really thought it out.

List-making makes me happy. Topics for lists are endless. Try it. It may relieve your anxiety, help you accomplish more, and motivate you to a better life.

I’d love to hear your comments. What’s in your list?

Struggles with Lawn Care Part 2

It’s been one month since I got the front lawn enriched with soil. You can read about it here. This post shows the progress of the lawn. I’m pleased with it and I have learned the following about how to care for a St. Augustine grass lawn:

First, St. Augustine grass is never grown from seed. It comes in either sod or plugs. So, the $18/lb. seed that Jose spread was useless. My helpful neighbor planted a few runners in part of the lawn, but they didn’t take because they were too exposed.

Second, the crabgrass (probably lying dormant) took advantage of the fertilizer and proceeded to sprout everywhere. Every day I weeded out the crabgrass. Crabgrass is easy to distinguish from St. Augustine, and it comes out easily. Crabgrass is a grayish green and configures in a star-shaped pattern, whereas St. Augustine configures as a runner.

Third, St. Augustine grass does best when watered between 1:00-3:00 am. Hooray for automatic sprinkler systems!

The weather was HOT! I’m talking days upon days of from 100 to 109-degree heat that broke 90-year old records. I watered every day. Antonio, a landscaper who regularly mows some of my neighbors’ lawns said that in this kind of weather, he waters his lawn every day for 20 minutes. His water bill last month was $275. Yikes! Antonio recommended that I have 2 pallets of sod installed to cover the exposed areas.

June 19^th fertilizing of the front lawn

July 19^th front lawn

So, there you have it. The lawn is filling in nicely, I got my daily dosage of sunshine, vitamin D, and I got to mingle with my neighbors.

Struggles with Lawn Care Part 1

My struggles with homeownership continue. Fast-forward to my third house, I am currently living in a 1960’s house with 3-bedrooms, and 2-baths. I recently posted about my first-time homeowner lawn care experience. You can read about it here.

Lately I’ve been watering my front yard in hopes of getting a lush carpet-like lawn, like my neighbor Debbie’s, and of course, the Beautification
Award. The problem is we haven’t fertilized in a while. Or ever. The soil is light brown and there are mostly weeds, with small patches of St. Augustine grass.

I pointed out the depleted soil to my husband, and he said, “Oh yeah, I’ll fertilize it.” Um, news flash, the lawn needed more than fertilizer, it needed amendments, topsoil, stuff like that. I couldn’t imagine when he would have the time or energy to do it.

The next day, my doorbell rang. It was Jose and Francisco. They had a truckload of topsoil and wanted to fertilize my front yard. It seemed like a gift from heaven.

I thought it was a good deal. If we were to have a sod lawn, we’d first have to remove the existing weedy lawn, till the soil, add topsoil and starter fertilizer, and then lay the sod. The sod alone for a plot 60′ x 28′ would have cost more than $1,400.

Fist pump, “YESS!” and from my front porch, I watched them spread the rich, black soil and seed. It took an hour and a half. It was hard work.

“This seed costs $18 a pound, Mama,” said Jose, as he swung the seeds into the ground.

My friend Jerry came by, held his nose and said, “Whew, something smells bad!”

I didn’t notice. What I smelled was the sweet odor of receiving a Beautification
Award.

“Make sure you water it, Mama,” said Jose.

I promised I would. A half an hour later, it rained. Another gift.

Later that evening, I told my friend, Tavo, “I just got a truckload of topsoil and fertilizer spread on my front yard. I’m going for the Beautification
Award, you know.”

Tavo’s eyes widened. “I’ve been trying to get that award for years!”

My husband shook his head. “There are other people going for that award besides Nanci?”

You remember when you were in elementary school, and you vied for the shiny gold trophy that came with the Good Citizen Award? Yeah. It’s like that.

Getting back to my lawn, it rained again that night, and again the next day. I’ll keep you posted on the progress. Below is a picture of the current state of my front lawn. Wish me success!

My First-Time Homeowner Lawn Care Experience

The first house my husband and I bought was in February 2001 in Euless, TX. It was a 1960’s 3-bedroom, 1.5-bath house with a huge front and backyard. Unfortunately, because we bought the house during wintertime, we discovered the yard lacked an automatic sprinkler system.

By the time summer came around, I knew I was in trouble. Outside in the blistering heat, with a newborn son in one arm, and a garden hose in the other, I could only nod to drivers as they slowly passed by. They must have thought I was crazy.

Our neighbor, Jeff, although a renter, was a grass whisperer. He would carefully lay out his homemade water sprinkler system, made from PVC pipe, and water his thick, luscious, emerald green St. Augustine grass. I had a full-blown case of green grass envy.

Then I discovered that the City of Euless has an award they give out to residents and businesses to highlight the efforts of keeping Euless beautiful. Called the Beautification Award, these monthly awards are presented between May through October.

The winners get a plaque in their front yard for a month. Their name and picture of their house are displayed at the library and on the city’s website. I determined that I was going to get that award. Now I just needed to live up to it.

I planted pansies, irises, liriope, alyssum, dusty miller, lambs ear, rosemary, lavender, and lantana. I dutifully followed Jeff’s advice, even watering close to his lawn to get the runners from his yard to come over to mine.

Sometimes I’d see Jeff spread his leftover fertilizer on my front lawn, and even water it for me!

But to no avail. I had crabgrass, dandelions, dogfennel, ground ivy, henbit, you name, it, I got it. Oh yeah, and fire ants. And don’t get me started on the bamboo patch the size of Rhode Island, with briar and poison ivy along the chain link fence.

By 2010, we moved on to another house, and the yard looked like this:

Sorry.

I don’t have an excuse, except my name isn’t Jeff.

But just because I couldn’t get the award with this yard, I still plan on getting it.

So, here’s the takeaway:

If you aren’t experienced with lawn care, buy a house with a smaller yard.
Get an automatic sprinkler system installed.
Hire Jeff.

The Art of the Open-Ended Question

As the mother of a teenage son, I was counseled to get the lines of communication going with him by using open-ended questions. What are open-ended questions? How are they different than closed-ended questions?

Closed-ended questions are questions that have an answer of either YES, NO, or a few words. Here is an example: How was your vacation? These kinds of questions are likened to multiple-choice questions on a test. These questions typically open with Are? Do? Who? When? Where? Which? Sometimes they begin with What?

Open-ended questions are ones that require an explanation and encourage discussion. Here is an example: What fun things did you do on vacation? These types of questions are like essay questions. These questions typically begin with How? Why? In what way? Sometimes they start with What?

The benefit of using open-ended questions is that you demonstrate an interest in the other person. I certainly want my son to feel I’m interested in him.

Before I opened my mouth, I asked myself, “Is what I am about to ask an open-ended question or a closed-ended question?” At first, I was surprised to find that my mind more readily went to closed-ended questions. I felt like I was learning to speak a different language. But the more I practiced it, the easier it got.

Of course, many times when I asked the open-ended question, hoping for a discussion, I got shut out with an “I DON’T KNOW.” Teenagers say that a lot. I’m not sure why, but I think it has to do with that they aren’t up to having a conversation at that moment. They may be thinking about something else, or they may not be interested in the topic. I try not to take it personally, realizing that I will have other opportunities. The point is I must keep trying, and not give up.

Occasionally, my open-ended questions worked, and we would get into animated discussions, usually revolving around cars. Note to moms with teenage sons: they like to talk about cars. Not just makes and models of cars, but about all the different parts of the cars. You’d better read up on motor mounts and drive axles.

Once the discussion gets started, I realized that I needed to be careful to encourage it, which is another skill altogether. If my son says something I don’t agree with, or it is shocking, I needed to not jump in with a “This is what you should do…” or chastise or criticize.

I made it a goal to have a minimum of 15 minutes of conversation with my son every day. I told him this was a requirement. The first day we did it, it was awkward. The second day we had a 45-minute discussion. Bingo!

Open-ended questions are useful in many relationships. Parents, educators, counselors, journalists, investigators, mediators, and salespeople should especially learn this skill. Conversations with workmates and even strangers can become more vibrant and satisfying.

What about you? In what areas of life have you been effective in using open-ended questions?

Peruvian Food – El Tesoro del Inca

Peruvian cuisine is a mixture of influences from the indigenous people including the Inca and cuisines brought in from Europe (mainly Spain, Italy, Germany), Asian (Chinese and Japanese), and West Africa.

Meats commonly are chicken, beef, and fish. Staples consist of corn, potato, rice. Vegetables used are tomatoes, peppers, particularly aji amarillo, a yellow pepper.

El Tesoro Del Inca is an authentic, down-to-earth Peruvian restaurant found in a strip mall at 733 N. Beltline Rd., Irving, TX 75061, located just 5 minutes from DFW Airport.

As soon as you enter, you will be welcomed by a friendly waitstaff. Traditional music plays in the background, and the walls are decorated with Incan paintings. Six large screen TVs line the walls, showing sports.

There is a raised platform for live music where musicians play traditional mountain music on Saturdays and salsa on Sundays. The interior is modest, with glass cases filled with Peruvian souvenirs and sweets. It’s a mini-market for Peruvian and Columbian foods and clothes.

Inca Paintings

A Market of Peruvian and Columbian Products

Appetizer: We received a small bowl Cancha, toasted corn. The large-kernelled corn called maiz chulpe or maiz cancha chulpe are tossed with oil and toasted in a hot skillet until they are browned and puffed, and then sprinkled with salt. It was addicting! The American snack “corn nuts” is a close equivalent, but the American version is much harder to chew.

Cancha Corn Nut Appetizer

Purple Corn

Drinks: Chicha Morada is a beautiful purple corn drink. High in antioxidants, it tastes like bubble gum. The purple corn is boiled in water for about 40 minutes. The corn is tossed out, and fruits such as pears, pineapples, apples, lime are added to the liquid. Some traditionally add cinnamon and cloves, but they don’t do it with theirs. The mixture is boiled and strained. This drink is best served cold, with ice.

The strained remnants from the chicha morado make a pudding substance used in a dessert called Mazamorra Morada.

The most popular drink of Peru is Inca Kola. Some people might describe this bright yellow soda as tasting like bubblegum or cream soda. The secret ingredient is lemon verbena. To Americans, it’s an acquired taste. You can order it by the glass or 2-liter bottle.

My husband had the Tallarines Verdes con Bistec, seasoned beef steak with pesto spaghetti and a slice of boiled potato. The steak was thin, the pesto sauce was flavorful, and the potato was cold and unseasoned.

I had the Aji de Gallina, which consists of shredded chicken served with a creamy yellow and spicy sauce, made with aji amarillo (a Peruvian yellow chili paste), cheese, milk, bread, garlic, and pecans, served with white rice.

Tallarines Verdes con Bistec

Aji de Gallino

Our friend had the Lomo Saltado, sliced beef (tenderloin or in Spanish “lomo”) is stir-fried with peppers, tomatoes, onions, garlic, coriander, cumin powder, and soy sauce, served with fried potatoes, parsley, and white rice.

His wife had the Tallarin Saltado Mixto, a Peruvian and Chinese fusion stir fry with spaghetti noodles, beef, chicken, shrimp, tomatoes, and onions.

Lomo Saltado

Tallarin Saltado Mixto

As we ate our meal, I was impressed with the friendliness of the owner. He opened the glass cases of cookies and candies to give them to the children of the patrons. I witnessed a sweet interchange between a little boy and his mother, as he took her to the glass case, pointed to a beaded bracelet, and ask her for it.

El Tesoro Del Inca is an excellent introduction to Peruvian cuisine. This place is down home, and most customers are families. Be prepared to linger at your meal and enjoy a taste of Peru’s food and atmosphere.